What is Success?
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what success actually is. The problem with success is how do we even know it when we get there. I’m a goal setter, first born, a high achiever, and recovering[ish] perfectionist. I’m aware of all of my strengths and weaknesses. I know how to cover my weakness by bringing in others who excel in the places I don’t. I am constantly striving, constantly searching for meaning, for connection and yes… for success.
I’m 3 years into an alcohol free lifestyle. In some ways life couldn’t be better but in other ways, I’m still figuring how to balance all of the things. “Getting Sober” as they say, is as hard as you would expect. I was never someone who drank excessively but over time, that 2-3 glasses of wine a night was weighing me down. As I wrapped up my 30’s, it became clearer and clearer that I could read all of the self help books, do all the therapy, yoga and meditation in the world but the thing standing in my way was alcohol. It was the elephant in the room. Not even alcohol itself but not having developed ways to truly cope with reality in a healthy way. I was living a half life. Too afraid to face anything uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to simply sit with myself when things were less than perfect. I was striving for happiness and not realizing that happiness can’t be the goal if you want to live a full life. There’s a whole other side to the coin and the only way across is through.
I did eventually get to a place where I no longer crave alcohol but it meant gritting my teeth through so many “firsts”. The first Friday night, the first Christmas Party, Birthday, Mother’s Day. Each one met with grave anticipation and often ending in tears curled up alone in a dark room. I gave up a hundred times and started back again. I was literally rewiring my brain and everything I had learned about how to live life, how to celebrate, how to respond to stress, to change, to a good day, to a bad day.
Michelle Lyerly
How I did it:
Read ALL the books [Favorites: The Sober Diaries and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober]
The One Year No Beer Challenge
Spin, Yoga, Long Walks
Lots of Therapy
Massage & Chiropractor
Music & Writing
And time….
How we celebrate success is as important as the success itself.
I’ve had 2 years where I focused in and crushed all of my goals. I called in abundance and literally, it all came to me at once. But… here’s the thing. Once it happened, I was not only overwhelmed, it was a little bit of a letdown.
What now????. What’s the next thing? It’s a never-ending cycle where on the outside, everything looks amazing but on the inside, I’m exhausted, unfulfilled and just filling my life with work.
This is my current struggle but at least now that I recognize the pattern I’m getting good at waiting and listening and being patient about what comes next. I’m trying to stop “clenching” and rather to ease into whatever may come.
